The circle of control


The concept of the circle of control is a valuable tool for managing stress and enhancing productivity. It revolves around the understanding of what you can and cannot control in your life. By honing in on what is within your domain of influence, you can direct your energy more effectively.


Understanding the Circle of Control


The circle of control typically consists of three primary zones:


Circle of Control. This includes things you have direct control over, such as your thoughts, actions, and responses. This zone is where you can exert influence and make choices that directly impact your life.


Circle of Influence. This expands to areas you can influence indirectly, like relationships or work dynamics. While you can't control these aspects completely, your behavior can influence outcomes.


Circle of Concern. This includes everything you care about but have no control over, such as the weather, the economy, or other people’s actions. Worrying about these things often leads to stress and helplessness.


The circle of control is a concept used to help you to focus on what you can directly influence, as opposed to what you have no control over. It is typically visualised or show  as three concentric circles:


Circle of Control. This is the innermost circle and includes everything you have direct control over. These are your actions, thoughts, decisions, attitudes, reactions, and behaviors. Focusing on this circle encourages proactive behavior and personal responsibility.


In your circle of control, you have direct influence over the following:


Thoughts. You can choose how to think about different situations, shaping your mindset positively or negatively.


Attitudes. Your approach towards life, work, challenges, and other people is within your control, affecting your overall perspective and responses.


Reactions. How you respond emotionally and behaviorally to events or challenges is something you decide.


Decisions. Every choice you make, big or small, is within your control, defining your path and how you overcome obstacles.


Actions. The actions you take in daily life, your habits, and how you choose to spend your time reflect your values and priorities.


Effort. You control the amount of effort and dedication you put into your goals, tasks, and relationships.


Self-Care. Managing your physical and mental health through nutrition, exercise, rest, and mindfulness is something you can prioritize.


Focusing on these elements empowers you to constructively manage your life, adapt to changes, and make positive developments. By investing energy in what you can control, you enhance personal growth and resilience.


Circle of Influence. This middle circle contains things you can influence but not directly control. This includes other people’s thoughts and behaviors, relationships, and certain aspects of your environment. By focusing on this area, you may indirectly effect change through communication, collaboration, and persuasion.


Circle of Concern. The outermost circle encompasses things you may be concerned about but have no real control or influence over. This includes broader societal issues, other people's opinions, and uncontrollable outcomes. Worrying about the circle of concern can lead to stress and anxiety, as these are areas where your efforts are unlikely to bring change.


Outside your circle of control are factors and situations over which you have little or no influence. These include:


Other People's Actions. How others behave, their decisions, and their actions are beyond your control.


Other People's Opinions. The opinions, beliefs, or judgments others have about you or anything else are their own.


The Past. Events that have already happened cannot be changed, although you can learn from them.


The Future. While you can plan and prepare, you cannot control future outcomes or unforeseen events.


Natural Events. Weather, natural disasters, and other acts of nature are beyond human control.


Global Events. Large-scale events like political changes, economic shifts, and global crises are beyond individual influence.


Other People's Feelings. Although you can empathize, how others choose to feel is something only they control.


Focusing less on these uncontrollable factors allows you to channel energy and resources effectively into what you can influence, promoting peace of mind and clarity in decision-making.


Understanding and applying the circle of control helps you to allocate and focus your energy and resources more effectively, reducing stress and increasing resilience by focusing on actionable areas in their lives.


To identify your circle of control, follow these steps:


List Concerns. Write down everything that is currently on your mind.


Categorise. Place each item in the appropriate circle: control, influence, or concern.


Focus on Actions. In the circle of control, brainstorm actions you can take for each item.


Once you've identified which items fall into each category, it's time to navigate effectively. Focusing on What You Can Control


Mindset. Cultivate a positive mindset. Recognize that you can control your thoughts and reactions, even if you can't control the events themselves.


 Set Goals. Create specific, actionable goals for the areas within your control, and regularly review your progress.


Practice Mindfulness. This can help you stay calm and centered, reducing stress and enhancing your ability to focus.


Influence What You Can


Communicate. Develop strong communication skills. Whether it's at work or in personal relationships, effective communication can significantly increase your influence.


Build Relationships. Nurture relationships and networks. The stronger your connections, the more sway you might have in the circle of influence.


Be Consistent. Consistency in actions builds trust, increasing your influence over time.


To maintain and strengthen your circle of control, you can begin to bring in and strengthen these strategies:


Self-Awareness. Regularly reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Identify what you can change and accept what you cannot.


Mindfulness. Practice being present. Mindfulness helps you become more aware of your reactions and control over them, limiting stress over uncontrollable factors.


Goal Setting. Set realistic and achievable goals. This keeps you focused on what you can control in your personal and professional life.


Prioritise. Focus on activities and decisions within your control, like organizing your day or choosing how to respond in different situations.


Acceptance. Understand and accept things you cannot change. This can be liberating and reduce anxiety.


Positive Attitude. Maintain a positive mindset by appreciating the control you have over your thoughts and actions, which can improve overall life satisfaction.


Stress Management. Engage in stress-reducing activities like meditation, exercise, or hobbies you enjoy. This helps maintain focus on what is within your control.


Continuous Learning. Educate yourself on strategies to enhance personal growth and resilience, expanding your ability to manage what you can control.


Focusing on these on strengthening your circle of control can help you maintain clarity about your circle of control, leading to improved decision-making and emotional well-being.


Release What You Can't Control


Accept Uncertainty. Accept that some things are out of your hands. This acceptance will free up mental energy for other pursuits.


Practice Letting Go. Techniques like meditation, journaling, or even sessions with a therapist can help you release worries over things beyond your control.


Reframe Negative Thinking. Instead of focusing on what you can’t control, shift your thoughts to what you can change or influence.


How to create your own circle of control. The circle of control is a concept to help focus on what you can influence in your life.


Visualise or draw a circle and say that it represents all the things in your life. Inside this circle are the things you have control over.

   

Inside the Circle are your thoughts, actions, reactions, attitudes, and choices. These are aspects one can change or manage.


Outside the Circle, is everything  things you cannot control, which lie outside the circle such as other people's actions, past events, and natural occurrences.


By focusing on things within the circle reduces stress and increases effectiveness, as you are not wasting energy on things you can't change. 


Practical Application, think of scenarios where you can identify whether something is within your circle of control, like how you respond to a stressful situation versus the situation itself. Then name personal examples for each part of the circle, which is helpful in understanding your unique circle of control. By clarifying these points, your should gain a good understanding of the circle of control and how it can benefit your daily life.


Understanding and applying the circle of control can significantly improve your ability to manage stress and focus your energy on meaningful activities. By doing so, you'll cultivate a more balanced and empowered life, navigating challenges with confidence and grace. Remember, the key is not in controlling everything, but in controlling what you can while learning to let go of the rest.


If you feel you would like support, and you feel therapy may be the answer. I offer 15 minute complimentary  consultations, for you to have the chance to discover how therapy might support you. Visit my website for more information. 


www.mindfulmomentstherapies.co.uk


Or email

phiona.hutton@btinternet.com


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